Book Review Heaven caught up with Connie Kaminski, the Kentucky-bred beauty who’s got some pretty strong views about what her life should look like. We talked with her just as the summer that is featured in Dave DiGrazie’s novel, “See John Play” was beginning. She was in the parking lot of a Kroger’s supermarket in Covington with her little girl Laurie in a stroller, when she agreed to spend a few minutes with us.
Book Review Heaven: Connie, thanks for talking with us. Let’s get right to it: You’re in your mid-twenties, as totally attractive a woman as we’ve seen anywhere, and your parents are rich and respected. You um – actually smell nice, too. You should have the world by the tail, but you don’t.
Connie Kaminski: Thanks for noticing. I mean, really. I should have the world by the tail, shouldn’t I?
BRH: So then, why are friends and family so concerned about you?
CK: It’s John, my husband. He’s a slut. We’ve been married for what, three and a half years or something? I sort of knew what I was getting into when I fell for him. I mean, in a ‘back of my mind’ sort of way I knew he was a wanderer. But I figured he’d settle down. I’ve always been firmly in control of my relationships with men.
BRH: The obvious thing to ask next is, ‘Why John?’ There certainly were others you could have –”
CK: Oh, cue the Monday morning quarterbacking, huh? Look, I love John. He was the first man who ever made me feel a challenge. Tell you the truth, I kind of like feeling that way. Like I’m not totally in control of him, you know? How boring would my life be if I found some nice, rich homebody who worshipped me and licked my toes clean if I asked? John compliments me well when he’s um – available. I made my choice and I wouldn’t trade him. And look, he gave me Laurie-cakes here. Say hi to the nice man, Laurie.
BRH: Hi Laurie. She’s beautiful, Connie. Back to John. He must be special in some way the rest of us don’t see.
CK: Oh, he’s special alright. He got my attention before I even knew about the golfing thing because of how people crowd around him wherever he goes. He’s quite charismatic, you know. Tells stories well enough to do it on television. He’s got the looks for TV – have you seen him? The boy could probably be a talk show host like Jimmy Kimmel if he wanted. And smart? He could make up a story about anything right on the spot and have everyone laughing their asses off. I know before we were married I laughed mine off. That’s got to count for something, right?
BRH: You mentioned the golf thing. Your sister Melanie thinks you’re only staying with him on the remote possibility that he’ll win big on the PGA tour and the Kaminskis will be rich.
CK: That’s bull. Look, I love Mel, but sometimes she needs to mind her own. Money’s not a problem for me. Are you new to the Cincinnati area or something? Haven’t you heard of my dad, Dr. Arliss Spencer? He takes care of me whenever I need anything.
BRH: So what, then? Isn’t staying with a man who’s never there for you sort of unfair to yourself, not to mention your daughter? And neither of your parents are thrilled right now –
CK: Oh, you too, hmm? Okay, here’s the bottom line. I love him, I chose him, I married him. I don’t know what else to tell you. Underneath it all, I think I’m old fashioned. Maybe one day the boy will do something so repulsive I’ll change my mind. I’d be lying if I said the thought never crossed my mind. But that just isn’t how I was raised. Look, I’m on my way to Mel and Richie’s and we’re gonna have dinner. I’m supposed to pick up the meat for grilling, so I’ll answer just one last question, okay?
BRH: Sure thing, Connie. Last question: John’s been seen hanging out up in Northbrook at an illegal gambling establishment. As you know, he’s already asked you and your dad to help him out of debt once before. What would it take to get you to come to your senses and leave this guy?
CK: You just won’t give up, will you? Okay, let’s play silly make-pretend. It would take a big, muscular guy who was bad like a Navy Seal and had twice John’s ability to make my heart skip a beat, and who looked great in a cowboy hat and could sing country love ballads to me like Toby Keith. And while money’s no problem, to get me to leave John he’d have to be loaded with cash. And then maybe, just maybe, if I met a guy like that and John was being twice the dildo he’s been lately. None of which is possible, so just forget it.
BRH Note: With that, Connie Kaminski wheeled her daughter into the Kroger’s and I couldn’t help but watch her for just a few seconds as she walked away. She turned around and caught me looking, and I heard her laugh as she went through the automatic door. What a package she is. She doesn’t know it, but she is in for quite a summer. Look for future news on Dave DiGrazie’s novel, “See John Play” to learn how she’ll be surprised.